The Anthology page shares a collection of stories, a variety of humor, different sayings, musical phenoms, and things that don't fit on the other pages. I hope you enjoy the Anthology page and that you'll return often.
Things a burglar will not tell you
August 2020 Updated
TAMPA POLICE DEPARTMENT
DISTRICT ONE - CRIME PREVENTION BULLETIN
THINGS A BURGLAR DOES NOT TELL YOU
Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste - and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.
If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, donít let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if itís set. That makes it too easy.
A good security company alarms the window over the sink. Windows on the second floor should also have alarms on them, which often access the master bedroom and your jewelry. Itís not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
Itís raining, youíre fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door: understandable. But understand this: I donít take a day off because of bad weather.
I always knock first. If you answer, Iíll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters, donít take me up on it.
Do you really think I wonít look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, freezer and the medicine cabinet.
Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never ever look like a crook.
The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors!
Iíll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, heíll stop what heís doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesnít hear it again, heíll just go back to what he was doing. Itís human nature.
Iím not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
I love looking in your windows. Iím looking for signs that youíre home, and for flat screen televisions or gaming systems Iíd like. Iíll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night; you donít close your blinds: I pick my targets.
Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page, itís easier than you think to look up your address.
To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, itís an invitation.
If you donít answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
Hereís a helpful hint: I almost never go into kidsí rooms.
Youíre right: I wonít have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if itís not bolted down, Iíll take it with me.
A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system.
Thanks for visiting this page and thanks for taking good care of what belongs to you.~jwa
Have a great weekend.~jwa